And sometimes, blogs

Tag: Self-Reflection (Page 1 of 2)

A series of blog posts in which I reflect on the kind of person I am.

That One Insignificant Moment

There was a morning, back when I was in middle school. The bus was turning up the school’s little hill of a driveway, and I was lying back, tired, trying to squeeze just another minute or two of rest out of the morning before I had to face an entire day at school. It was a typical morning, similar to hundreds of others before it, and probably after it. A completely unexceptional, worthless moment of transition between the parts of the day that actually mattered.

And somehow, for some reason, I realized all of that in that moment.

I realized I was living through the most mundane, unremarkable moment in time. A moment that would soon be forgotten by everyone on the bus, including myself, because what reason was there to remember it? A moment so defined by its insignificance that, in just a few more days, or hours, or maybe even minutes, it would be like that moment never happened at all.

So I decided to remember it.

I didn’t want that moment to not matter. I didn’t want that moment to be as insignificant as it was destined to be. I didn’t want it to be forgotten and therefore die, losing every effect it ever had on anyone who lived through it.

I couldn’t rescue every moment in eternity from its inevitable oblivion, but I could rescue that moment, on that one day, on that one morning, on that utterly insignificant bus ride before school.

And so I remember it. I remember all the silly things that were going through my head as I made that vow of remembrance, which I’ve now shared here (without too much extra dramatization—I was a dramatic child, inside my own head).

I remember the feeling of defiance that went into the act, the feeling of struggle against an impossible enemy—eternity itself. The feeling of borrowed/mutual insignificance, because I too was just screaming against the void of Forever. Someday I would be forgotten too, and the world would move on as if I never existed.

But for now at least, for just one lifetime, I could remember—and therefore keep alive—that one insignificant moment.

Remembering Bionicle

As I alluded to at the end of my previous post, I moved last month. It’s been a rush of busy-ness since then: unpacking, building new furniture, and all sorts of minor-but-exhausting time traps. But things have started to settle down in recent weeks, which means I finally had the chance to do something that’s been on my to-do list for a very long time: opening my long-sealed Bionicle collection.

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Sprint System Retrospective

In mid-2021, I posted about my productivity tracking systems over the years. How I evolved from setting vague and directionless New Year’s Resolutions to obsessively tracking all my projects and their progress in bi-weekly Agile sprints like a good little programmer mule. I predicted that the Sprints system would fail within another year or so, based on my track record with my productivity tracking systems. So, was I right?

Yes. I was.

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Can I write a new blog post every month?

I’ve wanted to have a blog for years. To have a platform to share my thoughts with the world; to build up a cool and diverse archive of posts on a variety of subjects; to follow in the footsteps of my all favorite authors who have blogs of their own, that they use to keep their fans updated on upcoming book news and whatnot. Somewhere I can post for posterity, outside of the disposable content mills that make up modern social media.

And then I finally created jessepirnat.com. I’ve had the means to start my ideal blog for almost 3 years now… So why haven’t I done it yet?

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What kind of creator do I want to be?

Recently, a video was released which set the long-dead Homestuck fandom aflame with drama. You don’t really need to watch it (I mean… unless you’re curious about the very troubled production of the Homestuck Kickstarter game). But to make a long story short: Andrew Hussie, the writer of Homestuck, made his first public comments on the Kickstarter game in years, and he unintentionally portrayed himself as a terrible businessperson and kind of an asshole.

This isn’t a post about that though. It’s a post about authors, how they engage with their fans, and how a bunch of stupid fandom drama made me ask myself: what kind of content creator do I want to be?

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