Cliff Hung’s Comprehensive Guide To Getting Laid Like A Rock Star (Who Gets Laid All The Time)
Hey bros, are you ready for another session with your favorite pickup game guru, Cliff Hung? Today I’ve got four great new techniques for you to try out at your favorite local club. These techniques are tried and true and sure to lead you to lead the woman of your dreams straight to your bed, in 48 hours or less! By utilizing these quirks in female psychology, you’ll be rolling in the doe-eyed damsels in no time flat. But not like flat as in chest, I mean flat as in your sex life if you don’t follow these tips!
- Mysterious Men are Irresistible
Everyone knows a mysterious persona is alluring as hell. How often have you found yourself captivated by a cutie you know next to nothing about? Swooning over a sexy seductress who hides a world of intrigue behind her luscious smile? Wanting to know more about a woman who piques your fancy with a fantastic tease? It’s pretty much a universal fact of human nature: people are extremely attracted to the unknown. How else could you explain how a dude like Sherlock Holmes can be so popular with the ladies? They love mysteries. That’s how you explain it.
So, how do you get a girl interested in puzzling you out? Cultivating an enigmatic charm may sound like a difficult task, but it’s actually one of the easiest things you can do. Whenever a woman asks you a question about yourself, just don’t answer! It’s that easy! She wants to know what your likes and dislikes are? Dodge the question and change the subject! She asks for your number? You don’t have a phone! She asks if you have the time? Check your phone, tell her yes and leave it at that! You are a cool, mysterious dude, and all the ladies are absolutely baffled trying to understand you. And that means they’ll keep coming back for more.
- Grab Them by the Pussy
Sometimes, a woman requires a more direct approach. Sometimes it isn’t a puzzling ponderance of the mysteries of the mind that sets her heart aflutter, but something far more physical. Something far more… primal. Sometimes a woman wants a literal animal. Whenever your hunt leads you to such a visceral vixen, it’s easy to seduce your prey. In times like these, all you need to do is talk to her about her pet cat!
Everyone knows people like talking about the things that interest them. Ask anyone about their favorite movies or hobbies or even their career, and you’ll soon find out they have a lot to say about the things they care about. But did you know people with pets generally care about them? This, in combination with the previous idiosyncrasy in human psychology, means that a good way to hold a conversation with an animal lover is to talk with them about their pets! Crazy, right? But one hundred percent true!
Here’s what you need to do. When something in your hunt tips you off that your femme fatale has a feline pal, play it cool. If you’re not already talking, strike up a conversation with her. Then, drop some allusions to your own love of animals. With any luck she’ll take the bait, and you’ll have her nibbling out of the palm of your hand in no time! That’s all it takes, dude!
If you don’t actually have a love of animals, you’re pretty much screwed—and not in the good way. If you’re going to be the pickup pro you want to be, you’re going to have to understand and relate to women on a fundamental level. That means, on a fundamental level, you’re going to have to love cats. Bitches love cats.
- Confidence is Key
One of the most fundamental pieces of advice that pickup gurus give is to be confident. But, how often do those gurus go into any more depth and explain what that oft quoted maxim really means? Almost never! Don’t worry though—pickup champion Cliff Hung is here to pick up the pieces and give you the full story behind every amateur pickup artist’s biggest question: what is confidence?
In statistics, confidence refers to the probability that a sample from a population can accurately estimate a parameter of that population, such as the true population mean. Statisticians construct confidence intervals, intervals in which they can state with some level of confidence (often simply 95%, though more rigorous disciplines such as physics use thresholds as high as 99.9999% or higher) that the population parameter is accurately reflected by the sample.
As a pickup artist, it can be helpful to model your success with women as a Bernoulli distribution in which a woman can either be interested in you or not interested in you. Using the simple math you learned in high school or college, you will then be able to find the sample mean x̄ of your successes vs. failures to date, and from there you’re only a few calculations away from the standard deviation of the sampling distribution of the sample mean, σx̄, which you can use to construct your confidence intervals.
It should be obvious that you want to maximize the bounds of your confidence interval. After all, you want to increase the probability that any single attempt at seducing a woman will be a success! Luckily, as you have more successful seduction events, your confidence intervals will increase in response to the increased sample mean! And before you know it, you’ll be a proudly confident Casanova of pickup.
- Bad Boys Score the Most
Our final technique is a classic, but don’t let its age fool you. It’s a classic because it works! Whether it’s in the sports field or the field of dating, cheaters will always get more points than those who play it straight. Sounds unbelievable, right? But look at it this way: the game is rigged against you. Just as history is written by the victors, the rules of interpersonal relationship dynamics are written by the alphas that are bagging, tagging, shagging and fragging all the babes you’re not. You think I’m bragging? Just look at who wrote this very article and you’ll realize how right I am!
So what do you do when you can’t win by playing by the rules? You make your own rules. Don’t play it straight. You have no hope of winning over the hearts of any women, but that doesn’t mean you can’t win over the hearts (and bodies) of men! Often overlooked by pickup amateurs and expert seducers alike, male prey makes for a very exotic hunt. And yet, ruling out men is one of the biggest mistakes a pickup artist can make!
Here’s what you need to do. The next time you go out in pursuit of some flirtatious feminine curves, just look for a macho muscular Adonis instead. You’ll know him when you see him—he’ll be the stallion you know will give you the ride of your life. You may not believe me, but I guarantee you’ll be left satisfied and craving for more. I know I was! How’s that for being a bad boy? So if you’re a heterotypical alpha male like me, go and give yourself the night of your life with the man of your dreams. You’ll be glad you did!
And there you have it, bros! That’s all it takes to be a skillful seduction savant like your main dude Cliff! Lots of men tend to overthink talking to women, but really, what it comes down to in the end is having an open mind, charm, empathy, and a positive attitude. With those four things working in unison, you’ll be able to tame any dame, tap the ass of any lass, and compel any mademoiselle to be under your spell.
Well, that’s it for today’s session, fellas! Good luck!
– Cliff Hung